Nov
10
2009
2

Tagalog Word of the Day: UTOT

Utot means fart or flatulence or breaking wind, which is to expel intestinal gas through the anus. It is usually accompanied by a pungent smell (commonly used as a noun or a verb). 

Word Usage:

Ang utot ay galing sa puwit. 
(The fart comes from someone’s ass.) 
or
(Flatulence is expelled from the anus of an impolite individual.)
or even
(The curious noise and the curious smell came from someone’s curious butt.)

Itinapat ni Manoy ang kanyang puwit sa mukha ni Inday at marahas na umutot.
(Manoy pointed his butt at Inday’s face and harshy farted.) 
or 
(Manoy lovingly directed his passionate ass in front of Inday’s beautiful face and violently broke wind.) 
or even
(A flatulence of love and desire erupted from Manoy’s indefatigable posterior and was absorbed by by Inday’s willing and congenial visage.)

Ang maliit na tunog na iyong narinig ay bunga ng pagkakaipit ng puwit ni Maria nang hindi niya napigilan ang pagkakautot.
(The small noise you heard was caused by Maria’s inability to keep her flatulence in check while her butt was squeezed into her chair.) 
or 
(The high-pitched, curious sound you heard was no animal – it was the apparent release of Maria’s pent-up frustration as she tried to act demure and stop the onset of a natural biological function – to no avail.) 
or even 
(Did you say something, Maria?)

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Oct
24
2009
0

BFWOT!

This poem is all about “love”… and I wrote it all by myself…

* * * * *

BFWOT!

BFWOT! Ay diyusku, ako’y napautot! 
Silid ay umalinsangan at biglang bumantot! 
Ipinagdasal na lang na walang kasamang pururot 
Ang amoy na singbaho ng panis na balot

Ang utot, kaibigan, ay galing sa puwit 
at senyales ng bagay na biglang lalawit 
Ito’y malagkit at mananatiling makulit 
hanggang isang ire lang, bagsak ang nakasabit

Ako ay lumaki na lubos na ututin 
Ang irog kong mahal, pinilit tiisin 
Ngunit puwersa ng damdamin, sadyang mahirap pigilin 
Utot ko’y bumulwak – at bumalik ang kanyang kinain

Pagkamasid sa nangyari, ako ay nagitla 
Kasunod nuon, utot ko ay muling bumuga 
Hinayupak na baho, hindi niya makaya 
Luhaang lumisan ang aking sinta…

Dumaan ang mga araw, lumakad ang linggo 
Tumalon ang buwan, at saka nagsirko 
Ako ay nakakita ng bagong kalaguyo 
Na hindi ininda ang mapanghi kong sikreto

Sana naman, kaibigan, ay hindi ka nabagot 
sa munti kong tula na tungkol sa utot 
Dahil ngayon ako ay hindi na malungkot 
Kuntento na ako, sa aking pagkan… ta… 
(La la la, akala niyo, ha?)

* * * * *

This was a poem I submitted to the spoof version of  our college paper – the Heraldo Flip-No.  Please note that the events that took place in the poem are fictional, and any relation to actual events are purely coincidental.  Really…  Honest…

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