Shit Happens…
We all know that shit happens… but how do other religions and beliefs view shit when it happens? Let’s find out:
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- TAOISM: Shit happens.
- CONFUCIANISM: Confucius say, “Shit happens”.
- ZEN: (What is the sound of shit happening?)
- JESUITISM: If shit happens and nobody is watching, is it really shit?
- ISLAM: Shit happens if it is the will of Allah.
- COMMUNISM: Equal shit happens to all people.
- CATHOLICISM: Shit happens because you are bad.
- PSYCHOANALYSIS: Shit happens because of your toilet training.
- SCIENTOLOGY: Shit happens if you’re on our shit list.
- ZOROASTRIANISM: Bad shit happens, and good shit happens.
- UNITARIANISM: Maybe shit happens. Let’s have coffee and donuts.
- RIGHT-WING PROTESTANTISM: Let this shit happen to someone else.
- JUDAISM: Why does shit always happen to us?
- REFORM JUDAISM: Got any Kaopectate?
- MYSTICISM: What weird shit!
- AGNOSTICISM: What is this shit?
- ATHEISM: I don’t believe this shit!
- NIHILISM: Who needs this shit?
- AZTEC: Cut out this shit!
- QUAKER: Let’s not fight over this shit.
- FORTEANISM: No shit??
- 12-STEP: I am powerless to cut the shit.
- VOODOO: Hey, that shit looks just like you!
- NEWAGE: Visualize shit not happening.
- DEISM: Shit just happens.
- EXISTENTIALISM: Shit doesn’t happen; shit is.
- SECULAR HUMANISM: Shit evolves.
- CHRISTIAN SCIENCE: Shit is in your mind.
- BUDDHISM: Shit happens, but pay no mind.
- SHINTOISM: Shit is everywhere.
- HINDUISM: This shit has happened before.
- WICCA: Mix this shit together and make it happen!
- HASIDISM: Shit never happens the same way twice.
- THEOSOPHY: You don’t know half of the shit that happens.
- DIANETICS: Your mother gave you shit before your were born.
- SEVENTH DAY ADVENTIST: No shit on Saturdays.
- JEHOVAH’s WITNESSES: No shit happens until Armageddon.
- MOONIES: Only happy shit really happens.
- HOPI: Corn fertilizer happens.
- BAHA’I: It’s all the same shit.
- STOICISM: This shit is good for me.
- OBJECTIVISM: Our shit is good for you.
- EST: If my shit bothers you, that’s your fault.
- REAGANISM: Don’t move; the shit will trickle down.
- FASCISM: Shit makes the trains run on time.
- CARGO CULT: A barge will come and take all the shit away.
- EMACS: Hold down Control-Meta-Shit.
- DISCORDIANISM: Some funny shit happened to me today.
- RASTAFARIANISM: Let’s smoke this shit.
- CHARISMATIC: This is not shit and it doesn’t smell bad.
- MASONIC: Shit happens, but we can’t discuss it during Lodge.
- RED CROSS: Shit happens – send money.
- THE MATRIX: There is no shit…
- BRAVEHEART: SHIIIIITTT!!!
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Hope you liked it, and my apologies if this shit offends your religion or belief… but frankly my dear, I don’t give a shit…