Aug
29
2011

The Classic Retirement Syndrome


I recently heard this story again and it made me laugh, not just because it’s funny, but because I have experienced this more times than I can count. You don’t have to be old and gray to experience this – and I’m sure many of you have :)

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A.A.A.D.D. Classic Retirement SyndromeRecently, I was diagnosed with A. A. A. D. D. – Age Activated Attention Deficit Disorder. This is how it manifests itself:

I decide to water my garden.

As I turn on the hose in the driveway, I look over at my car and decide my car needs washing.

As I start toward the garage, I notice that there is mail on the porch table that I brought up from the mail box earlier.

I decide to go through the mail before I wash the car.

I lay my car keys down on the table, put the junk mail in the rubbish bin under the table, and notice that the bin is full.

So, I decide to put the bills back on the table and take out the rubbish first.

But then I think, since I’m going to be near the mailbox when I take out the garbage anyway, I may as well pay the bills first.

I take my checkbook off the table, and see that there is only one check left. My extra checks are in my desk in the study, so I go inside the house to my desk where I find the can of coke that I had been drinking.

I’m going to look for my checks, but first I need to push the coke aside so that I don’t accidentally knock it over. I see that the coke is getting warm, and I decide I should put it in the refrigerator to keep it cold.

As I head toward the kitchen with the coke, a vase of flowers on the counter catches my eye: they need to be watered.

I place the coke down on the work surface, and I discover my reading glasses that I’ve been searching for all morning.

I decide I better put them back on my desk, but first I’m going to water the flowers.

I set the glasses back down on the work top, fill a container with water and suddenly I spot the TV remote. Someone has left it on the kitchen table.

I realize that tonight when we go to watch TV, I will be looking for the remote, but I won’t remember that it’s on the kitchen table, so I decide to put it back in the lounge where it belongs, but first I’ll water the flowers.

I pour some water in the flowers, but quite a bit of it spills on the floor. So, I set the remote back down on the table, get some towels and wipe up the spill.

Then, I head down the hall trying to remember what I was planning to do.

At the end of the day:

1. The car isn’t washed
2. The bills aren’t paid
3. There is a warm can of coke sitting on the work surface
4. The flowers don’t have enough water
5. There is still only one check in my checkbook
6. I can’t find the remote
7. I can’t find my glasses and I don’t remember what I did with the car keys.

Then, when I try to figure out why nothing got done today, I’m really baffled because I know I was busy all day long, and I’m really tired. I realize this is a serious problem, and I’ll try to get some help for it, but first I’ll check my e-mail.

p.s. I just remembered, I left the water running…

 

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How many times have you said you’re gonna do something important, and it always seems that “something” always comes up? Well, I guess what I’m saying is you should focus on whatever you want to do and do it first, and anything else that doesn’t directly help in achieving that goal should be either set aside for later or left at the wayside.

How’s that for inspirational words from a cynic?

By the way, I first found this story on the Internet in 2009 but I only got to post it here today… guess why…


Comments from Facebook:

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  • m.delrosario68

    this was funny! :) yes i think we have all had days like this…

    Comment | September 15, 2011

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