“I think nature is supremely indifferent to whether we live or die. I mean, if you’re lucky you get 75 years, if you’re really lucky you get 80. And if you’re extraordinarily lucky, you get 50 of those years with a decent head of hair.” - Agent Fox Mulder, The X-Files.
I just came back from the gym (my second day of resuming my workouts), and my whole body is sore. I feel like I just ran an 8-mile uphill marathon, and then got hit by a semi truck at the finish line… then got massaged by a drunk sumo wrestler, and then dragged back to the starting line by the said semi truck, with bobby pins littered across the ground and sharp, jagged rocks lining the sides of the… Okay, maybe it wasn’t “exactly” like that, but you get the idea…
For the past couple of days I have also changed my diet – no more semi-daily runs to Carl’s Jr. or Burger King for a Superstar Burger or a Whopper, no more take-out orders from Pizza Hut or El Pollo Loco, no more snack runs to 7-11 or Albertsons for Cheetos, Doritos, ice cream or soda, and no more nocturnal pig-out rituals where I sit in front of the computer munching my Cheetos or gobbling my ice cream at 3AM in the morning… This was like, well, war. I thought that, since I could convince myself to suddenly stop smoking last week, maybe I could convince myself to not eating a lot either. And lemme tell you, I thought not smoking was hard. The sudden diet change is excruciating at best. But hey, I’m holding up (so far).
I also got back from the grocery store, buying some cold cuts, some wheat bread, some dietary snack bars (Slim Fast bars, to be precise), and two boxes of crackers. I know I know, a good diet is supposed to be gradual and transitional, not an all-out semi-hunger strike. But I don’t do transitional. I don’t do gradual. If I wanna change something, it’s either now or never. The stronger the urge, the more I can exercise control. And as Yoda once said,“control, control, you must have control!”
Yeah, still alive here … the cravings have not started yet (or if it has, I didn’t notice it). The last time I got this far without smoking was two years ago, when I had a slight pneumonia, hehe…
Anyway, the second leg of this “health” mission (or torture, depending on what my current mindset is), is the resumption of my trips to the gym. The last time I was regularly in a gym was four years ago, in Bally’s Total Fitness… and the only reason I quit that was because I ran out of moola, haha… well now, my Dad has agreed to answer for my fitness workouts until I get a new job, and this time I intend to make full use of it. Not only am I gonna lose weight, but I’m gonna try to re-buff myself – any semblance of muscle I had back then has become flabby. Yeah, it’s a slight mess in here…
So to mark yet another occasion, I weighed myself – 209 pounds. My God … I’m a fuckin pig! Haha .. anyway, what weight am I shooting for? How about 185 pounds? Too much? Okay then, make it 180 pounds…
In any case, I’ll be going to the gym tonight, and work the treadmill for about an hour or two, just to get started. It’s gonna be a long uphill climb (pardon the pun), but I’m sure I can do it. I have done it before, I can do it again. My God, first I stop smoking, then I start working out again. What’s next? Eating those horrid salads? Watching Richard Simmons workout videos? Ack!
Has it been two days now? I still haven’t touched a cigarette since Saturday, and so far I’m holding up … no drooling … no bad dreams … no psychosis … no cold sweats … no crummy hands … no antsiness … I actually thought I’d be as crazy as loon by now, but surprisingly I am just fine … except for that little ritual I have right now of trying to light my pen …
We’ll see if I’ll hold up…
Today, I have launched my “Tolitz will stop smoking, yes he will” campaign … this will recount the excruciating days of withdrawal that our hero will face as he tries to permanently do away with the diabolical forces of evil… Or something to that effect. I’m gonna be chronicling the events that will transpire as I slowly succumb into pseudo-psychosis from the undeniable craving of soothing, relaxing cigarettes, which gently… arrrrgh, okay, I’ll stop …
Remember the date, June 22 … this is the day Tolitz stops smoking … again … I hope …
“Life is like a box of chocolates – a cheap, thoughtless, perfunctory gift that nobody ever asks for. Unreturnable because all you get back is another box of chocolates. So you’re stuck with this undefinable whipped mint crap that you mindlessly wolf down when there’s nothing else left to eat. Sure, once in a while there’s a peanut butter cup, or an English toffee, but they’re gone too fast and the taste is fleeting. So you end up with nothing but broken bits filled with hardened jelly and teeth shattering nuts. If you’re desperate enough to eat those, all you’ve got left is an empty box, filled with useless brown paper wrappers…” - The Cigarette Smoking Man, The X-Files
“But what science may never be able to explain is our ineffable fear of the alien among us; a fear which often drives us, not to search for understanding, but to deceive, inveigle and obfuscate; to obscure the truth not only from others, but from ourselves…” - Agent Dana Scully, The X-Files.
“I can kill you whenever I please. But not today…” The Cigarette Smoking Man, The X-Files.
If cleanliness is next to godliness, then this hero’s act of hubris began this afternoon, as the unenviable task was entrusted upon his weary shoulders to try and undergo an exercise of tidiness within his little domain. Several weeks of accumulated cobwebs and lint will be rudely disturbed from their dwellings as a cacophony of rituals will be undergone to accomplish the task at hand. Such a daunting task will not be done as promptly as any other task. It will require painful preparation, calculated patience, and an overwhelming sense of purpose…
However, sheer will and determination will prevail amid the insurmountable odds, as this hero’s force of will alone can withstand such an excruciating task with nary a tarnished soul nor mind. Even now, the battle for purity of mind and of surroundings is well underway, and the first campaign is nearing victory. But, as our hero knows all too well, there is no room for complacency. The battles may be won, but the war is far from over…
Steve: Seen Clones?
Stephen King: (laughs) You sound like that ad: “Got milk?” No. Next week, I think. I’ve been waiting for the crowds to thin. I’ll probably enjoy it. People have gotten into the habit of expecting far too much from those movies, you know-from the first one on, they’ve been loving recreations of the movie serials that George Lucas must have been hooked on as a kid-the Flash Gordon/Buck Rogers stuff. Nothing expresses that so clearly as titles like “A New Hope” and “The Attack of the Clones,” or whatever it is. And then the critics act pissed because they’re getting popcorn movies instead of Truffaut.
I had this brief little online discussion the other day with a friend, with him implying Notepad as being the text editor of choice by those who “know their HTML stuff” … what a bunch of bull.
First of all, Notepad is an entry level editor. It’s just a big white screen where you can type code. There’s nothing advanced about it. There isn’t even a color legend for tags and variables, which makes editing much more convenient. Yet one might say “if you want something convenient then it means you don’t know how to distinguish HTML tags from text.” Yet again, another stupid little argument. That’s like saying Copy and Paste is also a sign of HTML ineptness coz it makes things “easier”.
Let’s assume you know the code, from the inside out, and you can code a complex XML-powered form handler with your eyes closed and one hand tied behind your back. Does it justify your “expertise” with the code by typing all of it from the ground up? I mean, you may know the code, but it’s utterly foolish to try and reinvent the wheel.
Notepad, in my mind, has two users: the ones who are trying to learn HTML for the first time, and the purists, who think HTML editors and WYSIWYG editors are the spawn of Satan. And mind you, most of these purists do not work on an enterprise level project, or even a commercial level project for that matter. Ask any seasoned web developer or web designer who has had more than five years experience if he still uses Notepad. The logical answer would be a “hell no”, sometimes followed by a small snicker.
Those who use Notepad because they try to “pose” as elite web designers by reinventing the wheel everytime they do some coding are a sad example of how this misconception has taken root. Even code crackers use a third party program to modify code – so where did this notion originate that those who use Notepad are 1337 hax0rs? I really don’t know.
I shudder at the thought of coding a complex table structure in Notepad. Not because I can’t do it, but because of the tediousness of it. How many repeated <tr>’s and <td>’s would it take for one to realize that Notepad is the most INEFFICIENT way to do web sites? And all this just to come out and pose as a 1337 hax0r? Pathetic.
One thing is for sure, though – anyone who has a resumé that only includes “Notepad” as their preferred web design tool will be easilly passed up for someone else who knows how to use industrial strength, e-commerce-level editors. Yeah, this includes WYSIWYG editors, too. Apply for a web design job and the first thing they ask is if you know either Dreamweaver or FrontPage. Granted these programs can add extraneous tags to your work, but it’s much easier to clean up code than to painstakingly type it out … one tag at a time.
I have said it once, and I will say it again – what matters is the quality of your output, not the tools you used to achieve it. People don’t ask you what you used to build your page – they only care about your final product…
Ahhh, the joys of unemployment … when you can just sit in the house all day, order a pizza on the phone, and sit in front of the computer.
And so my little corner in cyberspace has put on some more muscle. With most of the technical aspects of this site done, I can now begin to incorporate the all-important content… now, where can I get those? Oh wait, that was the reason I created this site in the first place. To indulge myself. To type out words and phrases that feed my ego and my interests. To convince myself that I am a very interesting person. Hahaha, what a joke!
But I gotta admit, sometimes I get tired of listening to other people speak. Sometimes I just give the mandatory nod, the patronizing smile, the token chuckle at anything resembling a joke or a jibe. Hey, I’m a great listener. The difference between me and a stone wall is that I react. But y’know, sometimes I wanna be heard. Sometimes I wanna to state my piece and unleash a flurry of big words and sporadic verbal attacks that will send those who listen to me running to a corner in search of a dictionary. Sometimes I wanna hear myself speak. Sometimes I wanna speak to myself and see if I can talk AND listen at the same time. It’s a very interesting exercise, mind you. You gotta try it!
Anyway, here comes the weekend, greeting me like a mischievous little imp that knows I’ll just be wasting it again. Well, maybe not – we’re treating my Tatay on Sunday (which is Father’s Day, for those of you who don’t have calendars). So maybe I can get some sun, after all. All I know is, Saturday feels like a nude beach – you like to go out and see the sights, but you can’t coz you’re too self-conscious to participate…
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